Mother’s Day with or without a mother. Nostalgia is not as bad as they say.

I can tell you, what my mother (gone a while ago) would tell me. She would tell me to take care of myself, keep my hair tidy, that I look very different from what I used to look but still beautiful. She would congratulate me for my children and grandchildren and what a great job I am doing at work and home.

When our mothers are no longer with us, it is good to “keep them around”. I do it in a number of ways: cook the old recipes, listen to the old music, photos, talk (on Skype) with my cousins (my brothers are also gone). I also, always, keep in mind that I am part of a long tradition that is still alive in me and my children and grandchildren. Photos of my “old” family look over my grandchildren while they play.

If you are lucky and still have a mother, I would suggest that you ask all those questions that nobody else but her can answer.

“How was you mother? What do you remember of the house where you were born? Tell me about your aunts. How it was to take care of me as a baby?” I never asked those questions and now I have nobody to answer them.

Make sure you get all the recipes you will ever want to cook or bake. I never found out why my mother’s Swiss rolls were so good. Incidentally, I never asked my aunt Rebecca for her recipes for plum cake or pastrami. Those recipes are gone forever, and I feel very silly because they were amazing.

If you still have your mother, make her a special hand cream. My mother loved lavender (same for my aunt Rebecca. who loved Yardley lavender soaps). If my mother were still here, I would make her a hand cream using European cream, some shea butter mousse and lavender essential oil.

She is not here, at least not literally, so maybe I will make a hand cream for me and I tell myself that I am pretty and great and what a great job I am doing.

Happy Mother’s Day!

My mother and I. Perfection.

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